Quatre 'n' His Cookies!
by Ariana Tatiana Maxwell
Summary: Uploaded onto a new alias =D. Yes, tis me, Ryo-chan...anyways. This was written way before I even started watching GW, it's based on a series of freaky AIM RPGs with my friends. OOC and minor Quatre-bashing, but major Wu-man-bashing. :D :D :D enjoy!!
1. Part One

Quatre and His Cookies

Quatre and His Cookies

Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing. SO SUCK IT UP AND SPIT IT OUT! *mwahahahaha* 

Note: I ain't insultin' Ketty, I think he's kawaii like alotta yas. ^_^;; 

~*~

Quatre hummed the Easy-Bake song happily whilst he put his cookie dough into the oven. 

"La la la la la! Cookin' is so easy, with Easy Bake! Make a cookie! Cookie's are your friends!" he sang, in his pink apron, decorated with roses and lace. "I love cookies!" 

He tapped his foot, humming the Easy-Bake song and waiting for the cookies to bake. Ten minutes later… 

He placed a perfectly round, hemispherical, chocolatey chocolate chip cookie on the base of his Cookie Monster Shrine. 

"O great Cookie Monster, may your crumbs be small indeed!" he 'prayed'. (No offense, I'm not implying that he's Godless or anything, it just sounded funny. ^^) 

The Cookie Monster said nothing in reply. Quatre looked on the ground, disappointed. 

"O wise one, why do you not answer my faithful-ness?!" he sobbed, beating his hands on the ground. 

He looked on the base, where the cookie should be, and chirped with happiness. 

"O great one! You accepted my gift! That is good enough for me, O Cookie Monster!" he sang, kissing the poster's feet. 

He skipped off, to get groceries for…more cookies. 

"Oh beautiful, for chocolatey gleam, for sugar oh so sweet! For crumbly crumbs, and messed up teeth, oh cookie you shall prevail! Chocolate Chip, Cookies! CC, Cookies, Cookie Monster shall shed his crumbs on thee! And crown, they chips, with sugar, coating, from milk to milky glass!" he made up,(yeah, I know, that sucked), and skipped to it. 

"La la la la la! CHOCOLATE! CHIP! COOKIES!" 

Duo and Hilde stopped-um-yeah, in their bedroom, and glanced out the window to see a happy Quatre skipping, and singing. 

"Has he always been like this?" asked Hilde. 

"Uhh…" said Duo, unable to answer. 

"I'll take that as a yes," said Hilde. Duo merely nodded in agreement, and started doing-um-yea, again. 

Quatre skipped through the doors of Food Colony, and bout twenty 50lb bags of flour, twenty 50lb bags of sugar, etc. 

A hungry Wufei spied on him, nibbling on the cookie that the Cookie Monster should've gotten. 

"Hwe should wameke wmore," he growled, spewing cookie crumbs and spit everywhere. "JUSTICE! FOR THE HUNGRY WUFEI!" 

Several people nearby jumped, and ran, when the saw the crumb & spit covered Wufei screaming "JUSTICE!". 

"What'd I do?" asked a confused Wufei. "JUSTICE, DAMMIT!" 

Quatre put all this down, and gave the dude his sister's card. 

"Happy BAKING!" shouted Quatre to the dude. 

"Uh, like, happy baking? Duude, same to you, like happy baking!" said the 'dude'. 

Wufei stalked Quatre half-way there, but was caught by none other than Releena Peacecraft. 

"Wufei!" she scolded. "Why are you stalking poor Quatre-chan home? May I ask?" 

"Cause I'm hungry, woman! Weakling! Let go of me!" he screamed, and lashed out at her. 

Releena shrieked and dropped him, and Wufei made as if to run, but was caught by Heero. 

"WUFEI! YOU HURT RELEENA!" he bellowed, and whipped out a gun. Wufei wet his pants and ran home, but ran into Treize. 

"Hello," welcomed Treize. 

"GET OUTTA MY WAY, ROSE-FREAK!" he yelled, and ploughed through him. 

"Now what ever gave him the idea of me liking roses?" said Treize, looking down at his shoes, topped with roses, his pants, embroidered with roses, his shirt, covered with roses and a rose in his breast pocket, and shrugged. "Must've been a lucky guess, I'd say." 

~*~ 

**To be continued… **

**Listen, if you liked it-review. If you didn't, review, and flame. ^_^;;  
If I don't get more than 3 good reviews, no more "Quatre and His Cookies"! **

***~Ryo-chan  
[Ryo's Corner][1] **

**"HAPPY BAKING!"**** **

   [1]: http://potter77.tripod.com/ryoindex.html



	2. Part Two

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Quatre 'n' His Cookies!

**Part Two~Wufei's Injustice!**

Disclaimer: I dun own Gundam, dammit!

Ariana Maxwell belongs to me. Steal = painful death.

Kaminari Winner(Kami) belongs to Sami-chan, and 

Sarai Yuy(Sarai) belongs to Okibi Chan.

Note: Eheh, I got 3 good reviews! Hopefully, more to come!

*sniff* Ya'll hurt my feelings by nawt reviewing! 

(To Siffy) Did it work?

Siffy: (looks at reviews)Not tellin'

DAMMIT!

VISIT Okibi Chan AND Sami-chan 's STORIES! ^_^*

~*~

Quatre was still humming the Easy-Bake song, and he opened the door to his home…and got run over by a 'few' of his sisters running out for softball practice.

"OH NO! MY COOKIE SUPPLIES!" he cried out, and found his supplies were fine-thanks to him throwing his body over them.

"I am so happy!" he cried, and weird animé tears sprouted from his eyes, quickly dried. He walked into his room, that connected to **his** kitchen, and **his** Cookie Monster Shrine.

Kaminari Winner stared at Quatre strangely, and whispered to her two friends; Sarai Yuy, and Ariana Maxwell.

"I think he's lost it."

Ariana snickered and Sarai grinned in agreement. 

"Hasn't he always, though?" said a still snickering Ariana, and her snickers soon turned to laughter as she fell off the bed. "Ow."

Sarai helped her up. "You really need to work on controlling that laughter…"

~*~

Quatre made s'more cookies. "Ahhh…cookies…"

Meanwhile, Cookie Monster flew in on Big Bird (I dun give if he can't fly! He will in MY fic!), and spied on Quatre's baking. "Me want coo-oo-oo-oookieeee! Gimme, gimme!" 

"Well now, Cookie Monster, it's not nice to steal…" advised Big Bird.

"I NO CARE! COOOOOOOOKIEEEEEEEE!" the Cookie Monster screamed, and lunged for the half-baked cookies. Quatre froze in amazement…and awe…

"Oh. My. **GOD**! IT'S THE ALMIGHTY COOKIE MONSTER!" he screamed, and started doing that weird worshipping thing. (You know, where they're like hailing the dude, on the floor, arms goin' up…down…etc.)

The Cookie Monster looked at him quizzically, for a millisecond, and resumed stuffing himself. "NUMMY COOKIES!"

~*~

Wufei stared at this, crumbs still around his face, pants still wet, and drool…hanging. Ew. Ew. Ew.

"Hungry…JUSTICE! I WANT JUSTICE! JUSTICE! JUSTICE!" he screamed, again, scaring a few passing people, pedestrians and drivers alike. A thud was heard, and if Wufei had looked behind him, he would've seen a car collision. Hell, Armageddon could've happened and he wouldn't have noticed! "JUSTICE!"

He almost dived into the cookie dough, but was caught by an angry Heero. "You hurt Relena."

"Don't kiiill meeeeeeee!" he whimpered.

"Why?" glared Heero.

"I…I'll confess!" he nearly shouted, causing another car collision.

"Confess what…?" asked Heero, his curiosity piqued. 

"I confess! I stole cookie's outta my mum's jar of cookies! I stole cookies from babies! Little children! Even…*sob* My Gundam!" he choked out.

Quatre happened to hear this.

~*~

**Well…?^^Atleast 3 _good_ reviews, or no**

More Quatre 'n' His Cookies! *pouts* Ya'll 

**Really hurt my feelings by nawt**

**Reviewing!**

** **

**Also, arigato for the good reviews, peeps!**

**I swear, I almost started cryin'…*sniff* **

** **

**^_^;;**

** **

***~Ryo-chan**

**[http://www.potter77.tripod.com/ryoindex][1]**

**^Ryo's Corner**

** **

"Oh. My. **GOD**! IT'S THE ALMIGHTY COOKIE MONSTER!"

   [1]: http://www.potter77.tripod.com/ryoindex



	3. Part Three

Quatre 'n' His Cookies

**Quatre 'n' His Cookies!**

**Part Three~Wufei's Injustice**

Disclaimer: I dun own Gundam, ye foolz!

Ariana Maxwell, property of me

Sarai Yuy-Okibi Chan

Kaminari Winner-Sami-chan

Note: I is weird! J

~*~

Quatre heard Wufei spill his guts-er-cookies. And he listened very carefully…

"…and I stole the cookie from Quatre's Cookie Monster Shrine!" Wufei finally blurted out.  
  
  


Heero looked at him in disgust, spit at him, and walked away. Duo and Hilde had witnessed the whole thing…

"That was…interesting…" Hilde remarked.

"I betcha 10 bucks Quatre's gonna kill Wufei," offered Duo.

"You're on!" grinned Hilde.

~*~

Quatre's body tensed up, and he let out a mighty roar(o.o;;)! He leapt out at Wufei, and started beating him up.

Meanwhile…

"Ahhh…goooooood…" burped the Cookie Monster. "Big Bird, we go now."

"Okay, Almighty Master," said the slave, Big Bird. "To the Teletubbies to wreak havoc?"

"Yes, Slave."

Meanwhile(again)…

"Hey! Let's destroy Quatre's Cookie Monster Shrine!" giggled Ariana.

"Yeah, but isn't he kinda busy and all?" questioned Kaminari.

"Not really! He's beating up Wufei!" said Sarai, who was at the window.

"Alright!" cheered the two others.  
  
  


The crept down a rope, from Sarai's bedroom window…

~*~

Short OOC Note:

BTW, the Cookie Monster Shrine is **outside**.

How? Quatre's kitchen has stairs leading to it…

~*~

Sarai called Kuroneko(her Gundam), and jumped into it. In turn, Kami called Yume Usa, and Ariana called Ginkitsune.

"Kuroneko!"

"Yume Usa!"

"Ginkitsune!"

"ATTACK!" they chorused.

Sarai's beam sword hit first.

"Yes!" she chortled.

Then Ariana's shadow beam, and Kami's swift attack.

They hopped outta their Gundams, and crept back into Sarai's room.

"They'll never guess," giggled Ariana.

"Maybe," said Kami, thoughtfully. 

"Possibly," agreed Sarai.

For some unknown reason, they started laughing.

~*~

Quatre had gotten tired of pummeling Wufei, so he stopped for moment. Wufei slunk away, like the coward he was.

"WUFEI! YOU SHALL NOT--" Quatre started screaming, but noticed his Cookie Monster Shrine. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" He fell to his knees, crying. Soon, he created a whole sea of tears, and people floated around in boats and on boyfriends.

~*~

"Alright! I get 10 bucks, Hilde!" grinned Duo, punching the air.

"Not technically," smirked Hilde. "You said **kill** Wufei, né? Well, he's still alive…hand em over, or no more--"

"OKAY! OKAY! FINE! YOU GET THE 10 DOLLARS!" screamed Duo, afraid for some reason.

~*~

**^_^One more Chapter! How should Wufei be punished?!**

**Lesse…**

** **

**1)Heero catches his hurting Relena again.**

**2)He's bombarded with cookies.**

**3)Sarai, Ari, and Kami track him down.^.~**

**4)Drowns in the Sea of Quatre's Tears. ^.~**

**5)Big Bird lands on him.**

** **

**Now, remember, 3 _good_ reviews or no more Q&C!**

** **

**And the most votes I get for whichever way, wins!**

** **

**BTW, I'm gonna do a few more**

**Humor series after this:**

**Duo's Hair/Braid**

**Trowa's Bangs/Hair**

**Wufei's Injustice**

**Heero-Omae O Korosu**

**Relena The Hippie**

** **

***~Ryo-chan**

**[http://www.potter77.tripod.com/ryoindex.html][1]**

**^Ryo's Corner**

** **

** **

"I betcha 10 bucks Quatre's gonna kill Wufei!"****

** **

   [1]: http://www.potter77.tripod.com/ryoindex.html



	4. IT ENDS! MUAHAHA--or does it? o.o...

Quatre 'n' His Cookies

**Quatre 'n' His Cookies**

**Part 4 – Wuffy's Demise**

Disclaimer: I dun own GW. So der. ^~

Note: Betcha thought I was dead, huh? LOL. I'll

have Cherry Blossom's challenge-fic soon

nuff…when I get enough 2xH data of course.

BTW, I couldn't decide between

Heero killing Wuffy, or the

"famous" trio(Ari, Kami, Sarai)to kill him…

{ } are author notes!

~*~

In their room, the sisters sweatdropped. They had expected Quatre to be upset…but…this…was a bit absurd. I mean, how many mentally balanced people started a sea of tears over a Sesame Street character?!

"Uhhh…Kami…" said Sarai, looking out the window. Ariana looked over her shoulder.

"Um, ehehe…" said Ariana, and started laughing.

"What?" asked Kaminari curiously. She looked over Sarai's other shoulder and fell back against her bed. "Oh…my…"

Ariana kept laughing and Sarai struggled to hide her smile, unsuccessfully.

Ariana spied someone extremely familiar. Wufei Chang, Chang Wufei, Wuffy, Wu-man… {::launches into a long

List of Wufei's nicknames/names::} …uhh, anyways…escaping. Yes, Wuffy was escaping.

"GUYS! WUFEI'S ESCAPING!" screamed Ariana. Kami woke up and Sarai put her hands over her ears.

"Ow!" whined Sarai.  
  
  


"He's escaping?!" asked Kami.

"You heard me!" said Ari, and jumped into Ginkitsune(her Gundam).

"Where ya goin'?!" yelled Sarai&Kami after her.

"I'm gonna stop him!" yelled back Ariana.

Sarai and Kami looked at eachother, and nodded.Wufei had been asking for it for a very long time…extremely long. Very long. A long long…{Am I doing it again? Yeah? I'll stop now. ^^;; There are a 100 stuffies I could criticize Wufei about, but I won't. Cuz I know Wu-lovers are reading this fic. Lol…} They both jumped into Yume Usa, and Kuroneko.

"One step behind ya Ari!"

~*~

Wufei ran super-fast(even for an animé char), away from Quatre. He didn't noticed a certain blonde in his way, who didn't even see him…he ran straight into Relena, knocking her down. Ow.

"Huh? What? Wufei? Why are you running?" inquired Relena, but Wufei ran straight away. Heero, in a tree, jumped down in a ninja outfit.

"WUFEI HURT RELENA!" bellowed Heero, and ran after him(also very fast^^).

~*~

Duo growled and handed Hilde 10 dollars. "I'm gonna kill Wufei…" he said, and remembered he'd placed a miniscule bomb full of…mystery stuff…on him that would explode if Heero got pissed. "Heh heh heh…" cackled Duo.

Hilde sweatdropped, and whispered to herself. "He's had one Twinkie too many…"

~*~

Wufei ran into a peaceful, charming forest clearing (think Snow White). He sighed, and slumped against an old tree.

"No cookie-crazed blonde…no annoying little sisters…no obsessive body guard…" he trailed off, and went to sleep.

Jurassic Park-like footsteps were heard in the distance.

_Thump…thump…thump…*crash*…thump…thump…thump…*crash*…_

_ _

Three huge Gundams burst through the trees, one falling next to Wufei. But he still slept.

A motorcycle-like _zoom_ was heard.

_Zzzzzz….zzzzzzzz…zzzzzz…*crash*…zzzzzz…zzzzzzz…zzzzzzz…*crash*…_

_ _

Heero skidded to a stop(no, not on a motorcycle, on his own feet which were on fire by now). He had flames in his eyes, and he screamed an uncoherent war cry of rage and obsession. "YOU HURT RELENA!" he screamed once more.

Wufei still slept. Snoring. Out cold…

Duo's cackle echoed out to the clearing. Wufei slept on.

Then…Sally Po jumped from a hand in Yume Usa.

"Chang Wufei. You. Missed. Our. Date. Today," seethed Sally, quietly. The anger obvious in her voice.

Wufei woke up with a start, screaming. Sally smiled. Heero growled. The Gundam-Sisters laughed.

"YOU HURT RELENA!" (gee, I wonder who said that?)

"YOU INSULTED US!" said Sarai through her Gundam.

"You missed our date," complained Sally.

Duo's cackle. "YOU DIDN'T DIE!"

Wufei sweatdropped at this.

"One, I don't give a damn about that damned weakling of a woman, Yuy! Two, you three should burn in hell for calling me Wuffy! Three, I forgot Sally! Four, why the hell would I want to die?!" said Wufei in one breath.

Heero's eyes turned totally red, his hands grew claws, and his mouth opened in a hideous smile with two blood-stained fangs inside. Sally just blinked, Duo's never-ending cackle stopped…and the Gundam Sisters got angry.

Kureneko's beam sword. Ginkitsune's shadow sword. Yume Usa's swift attack. All aimed at Wufei…

Sally just blinked.

Heero got there first, though. With superhuman speed and human rage…he raced for Wufei. Wufei didn't stand a chance.

"MOMMY!" cried Wufei. "I'M SCARED!"

Heero clawed at him and dodged the various attacks the Gundam Sisters threw at Wufei. Finally, when all the Wufei-beating was done {yeah, I know, I'm so descriptive}, Sally walked over to Wufei, and slapped him. A charred, blackened, bloody Wufei fell to the ground, a white flag by his head. During the battle, Duo's miniscule bomb had gone off. It had covered him in a school's year-old liquidated mystery meat. Ew.

Ariana took Wufei and threw him to America.

"In America, WOMAN RULE!" she yelled to him.

~*~

**Wow-ness! ^.~ I thought I'd _never_ finish this fic! LOL…**

**Then again, not like you'd care, seeing they suck.**

**^^What fic should I do next?**

**I really don't want to do Wufei's Injustice;**

**Quatre 'n' His Cookies were sort of**

**A Wufei – Quatre fic, LOL.**

**Which one should I do next:**

**1)Duo 'n' His Braid**

** **

**2)Trowa 'n' His Bangs**

** **

**3)Quit writing and try and take**

**over the world with an**

**albino mouse named**

**Brain.**

** **

**I personally like #3, but #1's a second**

**Choice :)**

** **

** **

**[http://potter77.tripod.com/ryoindex.html][1]**

**^Ryo's Corner**

** **

**[cabbitchan@yahoo.com][2]**

**^email**

**(Oh, I'm not gonna be on as much. I might lose**

**my ISP due to financial reasons. So don't**

**expect a fic anytime soon!)**

** **

***~Ryo-chan**

** **

**"In America, WOMAN RULE!"**

   [1]: http://potter77.tripod.com/ryoindex.html
   [2]: mailto:cabbitchan@yahoo.com



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